


Sweet Remorse

by mindylu32



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-20 21:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6026620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindylu32/pseuds/mindylu32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver's secret is finally out and Felicity is in need of some space. Written from Oliver's perspective. I'm hoping maybe my muse might cooperate and I can write one from Felicity's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I made the decision that for this fic that Felicity is no longer in a wheelchair. I love Felicity Smoak in and out of a wheelchair but this is just how my story flowed. 
> 
> This for now is just a one shot but if I can write Felicity's perspective or continue the story I will.

Oliver opened the door to see Felicity placing something on the table and he heard the light clink of metal on glass and he knew instantly what was happening. 

“Felicity?”, it came out a mere whisper but yet it was full of longing. 

“Oliver I thought I would be gone before you got back.”

“Fel...”, Oliver stopped mid-way through her name when she held up her hand. 

“Oliver I just need some space right now. I need time to think and being here with you I can’t do that. It’s like you’re the sun and I have to orbit around you. I need to be free from that. Just for a little while.”

“What do you mean by a little while? Is it completely over or?”, Oliver couldn’t quite keep the small amount of anger in his voice. 

“Oliver right now I want to hold off on the wedding. Right now I’m angry and upset. You didn’t trust me enough with...”

“Felicity I explained that...”

“Yes, I know. I just...” Felicity let out a long sigh, “I just want some time please give that to me Oliver. I think you can do that.”

Oliver didn’t speak but just dipped his head in a slight acknowledgment. He heard Felicity release the breath she obviously was holding waiting on his answer. 

Felicity started to walk to past him and Oliver reached out and grabbed her hand. He had no intention of doing so but it had to be instinctual as everything between them was. Oliver choked down a breath and said, “Please don’t go”.

Felicity tugged at her hand and Oliver gave no resistance as he released it. He felt her silky smooth hand slip past his. He took note of every surface. He smiled internally with satisfaction as he felt her small shiver. He knew it was probably because of the calluses on his hand running along her smooth one. He would take that small victory, for now. 

“Goodbye Oliver.”

Oliver watched as Felicity closed the door of the loft behind her. He stood there frozen for what felt like forever. He stood perfectly still in the same spot until he could no longer smell her perfume drifting in the air. He thought for sure she would come back through those doors but suddenly the setting sun gave way to night and she didn’t return.

Oliver didn't know what to do with his life. What was he supposed to do now without Felicity in his life? She had always kept him grounded. Suddenly he felt adrift in the ocean. Flowing to and fro with the waves. 

Oliver trudged up the stairs to the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower. He watched as the steam began to fill the room before he stepped in. The warm water started falling over his body and then he looked to his right and there it was. It was a tiny pink bottle full of liquid that shimmered in the light. A grenade would have been less dangerous. He reached his hand shakily towards it and lifted the top. He put it up to his nose and took a long deep breath and suddenly she was everywhere. Her scent surrounded him. He let out animalistic howl and dropped to his knees. He could feel the sudden jolt as his bones made contact with the tile but that pain was minimal compared to the pain ripping through his chest. The sobs racked his whole body. What had he done? How had he let this happen? He was so stupid! He was an idiot! He had lied to the one person he knew he never had to lie to.

Oliver stayed under the water until it turned cold. He barely registered his body shivering with the cold. He got out and made his way to the bed. He curled up on her side not caring that he got it soaking wet. A tiny smile crept across his face thinking how Felicity always teased him about leaving his wet towels on her side of the bed.

Oliver laid in the dark of the room he shared with her. He could smell the faint odor of her shampoo against her pillow. He curled himself up around it. In that moment he knew that his life did not work without Felicity Smoak. The darkness had already began to creep in on him without her there. 

Oliver made a promise to himself that he would do whatever it took to earn her trust again. To earn her love. He realized that she was wrong she was the sun and he revolved around her and without her light the darkness would eat him alive. 

Oliver finally started to drift off into a restless sleep. Through the night the loft was quiet save for Oliver’s anguished cries of, “Felicity”, coming at regular intervals.


	2. Sweet Remorse Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver's secret is finally out and Felicity is in need of some space. Written from Felicity's perspective. Feel free to read the one from Oliver's perspective!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the decision that for this fic that Felicity is no longer in a wheelchair. I love Felicity Smoak in and out of a wheelchair but this is just how my story flowed.

Felicity looked down at the glittering diamond on her left hand. If she was honest with herself she had always thought that this was too good to be true. Her mind going a mile a minute she remembered something she had read once about why the ring went on the left hand. Something about how there was a direct vein from that finger to the heart. Funny enough she could feel the weight all the way to her heart. 

She couldn’t stop the tear as it silently slipped past her lid and started sliding down her face. Her hands were shaky as she removed the ring from her finger and placed it on the table. 

She heard the door creak open then heard Oliver say, “Felicity?”. He had only whispered her name but somehow it felt like there was so much more in it. 

Felicity slowly turned around and saw Oliver standing there. His face was hard to read with the shadows dancing across his face from the dimming light coming through the large windows. 

“Oliver I thought I would be gone before you got back.”

Oliver started to say, “Fel...”, but Felicity threw up her hand to stop him before he could say anything. She was afraid if she let him say too much she wouldn’t be able to say what she needed to say. The pain etched on his face was like a knife to her already bleeding heart. 

Felicity steeled herself and spoke with what she hoped was firmness, “Oliver I just need some space right now. I need time to think and being here with you I can’t do that. It’s like you’re the sun and I have to orbit around you. I need to be free from that. Just for a little while.”

A sudden display of emotions swept across Oliver’s face as he took in what she had said before he said bluntly, “What do you mean by a little while? Is it completely over or?”. 

Felicity squared her shoulders and looked Oliver straight in the eye before saying, “Oliver right now I want to hold off on the wedding. Right now I’m angry and upset. You didn’t trust me enough with...”

Oliver cut her off mid-way through by stating with an anguished tone, “Felicity I explained that...”

Felicity couldn’t hold it in any longer. Everything she was feeling the hurt, the betrayal all came bubbling up to the surface as she half-screamed, “Yes, I know. I just...” Felicity let out a long sigh, “I just want some time please give that to me Oliver. I think you can do that.”

Felicity sucked in a breath waiting for his reply. She didn’t think he would respond but finally he gave a small dip of his head in a slight acknowledgment. Felicity released the breath she had been holding waiting for his reply. 

She had to get out of the loft. She had to get away from him. She was already starting to feel the pull towards him but she needed to think. She just needed some time to think. 

Felicity started towards the door and Oliver shot his hand out and held onto her wrist. Felicity instantly came to a stop. She listened as Oliver chocked on his breath before pleading, “Please don’t go”. 

Felicity tugged at her hand and Oliver gave her no resistance as he released it. Felicity felt every callus on his hand as it rubbed against her skin. She couldn’t stop the sudden flash of memories that sped through her mind. Suddenly she remembered them in bed, in the shower, on the floor over by the fireplace. The shiver that came over her was unstoppable.

Felicity finally was free of his grip and she continued to the door without looking back because she would be done for if she did. The tears started to gather in her eyes more ferociously and as she reached the door she said swiftly over her shoulder, “Goodbye Oliver.”

Felicity shut the door behind her and walked a short distance down the hall before she just stopped. She felt drained. Her heart pounded so loud her ears were making that weird swishing noise. She leaned against the cool wall. She just knew that Oliver would come storming through the door at any minute ready to continue this. But when Oliver didn’t come busting through the door after she stood there for several minutes Felicity’s legs gave way and she slid down the wall. She leaned her head back and just let the tears fall. She didn’t even bother trying to stop them. 

Her mind was full of so many thoughts. She was angry and she wished could scream but if she did she knew Oliver would come storming to her. She was hurt. She wanted to pull her hair and punch him at the same time. Her heart felt like it had exploded into a million pieces inside of her chest. However, more than anything she was disappointed. Disappointed that Oliver felt he couldn’t trust her enough to tell her about his son. Disappointed that he felt he had to lie to her. HER! Of all people Oliver should have known she was the one person in this world he never had to hid his true self from. That was the knife that wouldn’t stop twisting in her chest. 

Felicity wanted to hate him she really did. But she just couldn’t do it. She felt she had every right to hate him now but mostly what she felt was sadness. Suddenly her mind flashed one of her favorite movies 10 Things I Hate About You and she remembered when Kat had said, “but mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all”. Felicity had never understood that line until this very moment. 

Felicity sat there unmoving just staring at one spot on the opposite wall for far too long. She finally decided she needed to get of the hallway she looked like a lunatic. But where was she going to go? She could always stay with Thea or even John and Lyla but she really just wanted to be alone right now with her thoughts. She didn’t want people hovering over her asking her how she felt or how she was doing. She decided to check into the Ivory Rose Hotel. She would order a ton of food but mostly chocolate and wine. She would soak in one of their huge tubs and have some time to herself to think. 

While lying in of the plush robes and in the large bed of the penthouse suite Felicity couldn’t help but think there were perks to running a billion dollar company. But no matter how fluffy the robe or delightful the bed Felicity was miserable. She might as well have been wearing one of those horribly itchy sweaters and lying on a bed of jagged rocks. She was used to curling up to Oliver’s strong form at night feeling his warmth surround her. She had grown accustomed to falling asleep listening to the sound of his heart beating in his chest. She had tried turning on the TV to break the silence but it only irritated her because it wasn’t the same. Felicity curled up in a ball and looked out the large windows of the penthouse suite and saw that it had started to rain. She watched transfixed as the water trickled down the glass. She didn’t know what tomorrow would hold for her or Oliver but she would face it with the steely strength she knew she had. 

Felicity finally started to drift asleep while watching the rain cascade down the windows and as tears slid down her face. It had to have been her subconscious but Felicity let out a soft, “Oliver” right before drifting off into a restless sleep.


End file.
